Camp Lakebottom Wiki
Advertisement
Transcript



This page is a transcript of the Camp Lakebottom episode "The Itchy Witchy Pizza Project".

Script[]

  • [Episode opens with McGee running. He gets grabbed by strings of cheese and it pulls him in the oven. The title card appears.]
  • McGee: (voice-over) "Dear Mom, believe it or not, my cooking skills are on fire!"
  • [Cuts at Rosebud's Cafe]
  • McGee: Hey, Rosebud, what's for lunch?
  • [Gretchen's stomach suddenly starts rumbling.]
  • Gretchen: Sorry. That was my stomach. I'm so hungry I could eat toenails!
  • Sawyer: Help yourself, camper. Fresh batch.
  • Gretchen: Uh, maybe not.
  • [Rosebud comes by with burritos.]
  • Rosebud: These will put a hop in your step!
  • McGee: Supper-bean burritos? My fave!
  • [Just as the three campers are about to eat the burritos, the burritos start bouncing all over the place.]
  • Gretchen: Come back, you twitchy bean bags!
  • Squirt: Come here, little voice! You'll be warm and cozy in my belly.
  • [Gretchen struggles to get the burrito with her fork.]
  • Gretchen: Hi-yah! Your bean-fu is strong, but my eat-fu is stronger!
  • [Gretchen tries to eat the burrito, but the burrito smacks her and crashes into Squirt.]
  • McGee: (catches burrito) McGotcha! Whoa!
  • [McGee slips into the puddle of sauce.]
  • McGee: Aww.
  • Rosebud: I told you campers no food fights. OUT!!!
  • [The trio exit the cafe. Rosebud shuts the door and Gretchen knocks it.]
  • Gretchen: But I'm hungry!
  • McGee: Easy, Gretch. We'll order a pizza.
  • Gretchen: Pizza? (her stomach rumbles again and she takes out her phone) But how? My phone's in dead zone!
  • McGee: I don't know. Send him a moon flyer?
  • [A flyer appears on McGee's face.]
  • Squirt: (sniffs) Do you guys smell pizza?
  • McGee: (sniffs) I do! Pepperoni and cheese. Where is it?
  • Gretchen: Itchy Witchy's Greasy Pizza? It's a fast food miracle!
  • McGee: Uh-oh. There's even a map. You are here.
  • [An X sign appears on ground.]
  • Squirt: Wow! That it alarmingly accurate!
  • McGee: The pizza is...uh, that way.
  • Gretchen: Pizza!!
  • [The next scene transitions in the forest.]
  • Gretchen: Uh, we better find this place soon, McGee. I hope you're reading that map right.
  • McGee: Relax, Gretchy-boo.
  • Squirt: I don't know, guys. Feels like we've been walking for hours.
  • [A growling sound is heard. McGee and Squirt yelp.]
  • Gretchen: (moans) Relax, guys. It's just my stomach.
  • Squirt: Yeah, okay. But these woods are FREAKING ME OUT! Maybe we should go back to camp.
  • Gretchen: Not. Without. PIZZA!!!
  • Squirt: Agh!
  • McGee: Nice Gretchen. Breathe, breathe.
  • Gretchen: (sighs) Sorry. I'm, uh, a little hangry. You know, hungry-angry.
  • Squirt: The same thing happens to bears when they wake up from hibernation. I saw that on documentary.
  • McGee: Chill, Gretchen. We'll all be chomping on pizza in no time.
  • [While the three kids head to the restaurant, the sun sets day and night.]
  • McGee: (offscreen) It's just over the next hill, and through this clearing, over Flying Turtle Punch Pond.
  • Squirt: Huh. I wonder why they call it that. (A flying turtle punches him) Hmm.
  • McGee: (offscreen) Left in the fort, over the river, just through Gotch-You Vine Path.
  • [Squirt gets tangled by vines.]
  • Squirt: This name, I get.
  • [Squirt falls off of the vines.]
  • Gretchen: (offscreen) McGee? Hangry? Remember?!
  • McGee: (offscreen) We know, Gretchen. I know! And you'll be thrilled to hear that it's just through the bushes, and...we're here!
  • Gretchen: More forests? That's it! Give me the map!
  • Squirt: Okay. Time to go home! WANNA GO HOME! NEED TO GO HOME!!!
  • McGee: Gretch, let go.
  • Gretchen: Don't you dare wuss out!
  • Squirt: I wanna wuss out! We've been walking for days! We're never gonna find this place! Oh. There it is.
  • [The scene shows the pizza restaurant.]
  • McGee: Guess we're not the only ones who wants...
  • Gretchen: PIZZA!!!
  • Itchy Witchy: One Mayo Con Classic, coming up.
  • [A duo of chipmunks grab a box of pizza and sauce ants take toppings.]
  • Itchy Witchy: You! Stupid Sauce Ants! You're always after my pizza! You no pay, you no eat!
  • Gretchen: Hi.
  • Itchy Witchy: Welcome to Itchy Witchy's Greaky Pizza! What can I get you sweet, children?
  • Gretchen: Cheese and pepperoni pizza!
  • Squirt: Uh, yeah, but not the pepperoni in your ear.
  • Gretchen: Well, I'll eat your pepperoni if that's all you got.
  • Itchy Witchy: (giggles) This one's not for eating. One cheese and pepperoni coming up!
  • [Itchy Witchy uses her magic pepperoni wand to rip the dough out of her house and flattens it into pizza shape. She then uses the cheese shredder to shred the cheese onto the dough. Then, she takes pepperoni off the roof. Gretchen drools.]
  • Squirt: Don't forget the bananas. (A record scratch sound is heard) Just on my third.
  • [Itchy Witchy uses a banana to go with the toppings on the pizza. She puts the pizza inside the oven and it is now ready.]
  • Itchy Witchy: Bon appetit, little children.
  • Gretchen: Oh, yeah!
  • Squirt: All right!
  • [The kids enjoy the pizza.]
  • McGee: Mmm. So good.
  • Gretchen: Yes, finally! You're mine! (The pepperoni on her pizza falls off) Wait! (The sauce ants take the pepperoni and head back inside their hill) No, no, no! No, no, no, no! Seriously?! Oh, well. Well, I'll just grab the...(she notices the pizza is gone) What the...? (notices McGee and Squirt ate it) You ate the whole pizza?! What part of "hangry" don't you get?! (growls)
  • McGee: (nervously) Okay, okay. Sorry, Gretch. We'll order another pizza. Uh, well, Witchy...
  • Itchy Witchy: First, you pay. Capeesh?
  • [McGee realizes that he is broke.]
  • Squirt: Uh, ooh! (takes a piece of lint out of his belly button) Do you expect lint?
  • Itchy Witchy: No! It's dough or no go! Hmm, but maybe just this once, I could let you work off your debts. (she magics up a contract) All you have to do is sign this employee contract.
  • Squirt: (clears throat) "Party the first part, party the second Itchy Witchy Inc. and his respected partner shall not be liable through the New Year's removal of nose poking in the eye, drinking of head, spanking in the butt, or melting a face of rising a negligence, magic spells of sheer cruelty". Whoa! I mean, even though it's my legal background, it'll take me all afternoon to read this.
  • Gretchen: Sign it! I NEED THAT PIZZA!
  • McGee: I'm signing, I'm signing!
  • Itchy Witchy: Oh, welcome to Itchy Witchy's Pizzeria, employees. (she magics the three children inside the restaurant)
  • [The scene shows Itchy Witchy using her pepperoni wand to scratch her ear while sitting in the couch. McGee and Squirt are making the pizza and Gretchen is on her cellphone.]
  • Gretchen: Triple cheese, crumbled bacon, mmm, mushrooms. (she drools) That sounds delicious! I mean, yes! I got it. (as she writes on the pad, her stomach rumbles again) Hey! How come the Sauce Ants get sauce?
  • Squirt: Uh, sorry! The ants can't resist the tomato sauce. Want some?
  • Gretchen: Yeah. Lay it on me!
  • [Squirt dips the pizza in the tomato sauce barrel and tosses it to Gretchen. Itchy Witchy uses her wand to stop the pizza.]
  • Gretchen: Whoa!
  • Itchy Witchy: No eating on the job. (eats pizza) And don't feed the ants!
  • McGee: (puts pizza in box) All done, Witchy! We'll just take Gretchen's pizza to go.
  • Gretchen: (rubs her hands and points at her mouth) Yeah, to go in my mouth!
  • Itchy Witchy: (closes pizza box) No. The job's not done until you deliver what you make. And don't even think of sneaking a bite or else.
  • [One of Squirt's pizza boxes comes to life and barks.]
  • Squirt: Easy, boy.
  • [McGee and Gretchen's pizza boxes also bark.]
  • McGee: Whoa!
  • Gretchen: So evil.
  • Itchy Witchy: [laughs evilly and closes the door.]
  • [First, the Bottom Dwellers go to the spider's cave. The spider gives dollars to Squirt. Squirt hands the pizza to the spider. The web's string picks up Squirt.]
  • McGee: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. A sight of camper causes extra.
  • [Next, they deliver the pizza to Sawyer's Mom. Sawyer's Mom is about to eat Squirt, but Gretchen saves him by shoving the pizza box at Sawyer's Mom's mouth.]
  • Gretchen: Uh, sorry! All out of extra brains.
  • [Finally, they deliver the pizza to a ravenous bear.]
  • McGee: There. Our bill is paid and surprisingly, no one ate Squirt.
  • Squirt: It's true. I'm still here.
  • Gretchen: And now, I've got a date. Huh?
  • [Itchy Witchy snoopd away the pizza box from Gretchen.]
  • Itchy Witchy: Uh-uh. According to your contract, you still owe me one hundred years of work.
  • Gretchen: What? NOOOOOOOO!
  • [Itchy Witchy casts a spell on the cheese from the window to attach on the kids' legs.]
  • McGee: What the?! No pizza's worth that much!
  • Squirt: (as the cheese drags them into the counter) She owes a side order of me!
  • [Gretchen is trying to get the cheese off her leg.]
  • Gretchen: Do you guys smell cheese? Cheddar! (bites the cheese string) An edible cheese owes all the irony.
  • Itchy Witchy: Step it up! This isn't summer camp. (magics up a moving counter)
  • McGee: Okay. We can do this, guys. Hup, hey, ho! Go Team Lakebottom!
  • Itchy Witchy: Faster! Faster!
  • [Itchy Witchy casts a spell to make the trio work even more faster.]
  • McGee: We can't keep this up! We need to get that wand from Witchy.
  • Squirt: Yeah, but how?
  • Gretchen: (stomach rumbles) Oh, that! Unh!
  • McGee: Hey, Gretch. How about a saucy snack?
  • Gretchen: Yeah, give me that!
  • [McGee throws the dough in slow motion.]
  • Squirt: Ooh, pizza ball!
  • Itchy Witchy: Uh-uh-uh! I said "no snacking"!
  • Gretchen: (deep voice) I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! NEED FOOD!!!
  • Squirt: (chuckles) Gretchen cut the cheese.
  • McGee: Food fight!
Advertisement