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Transcript



This page is a transcript of the Camp Lakebottom episode "Late Afternoon of the Living Gitch."

ScriptEdit

  • [A loud crash is heard as Camp Lakebottom is seen, and McGee is heard screaming. He runs into view and jumps into a bush as a monstrous pair of underwear swoops at him while screeching. A picture of the scene is taken, and is placed onto a bulletin board filled with the episode's credits.]
  • McGee: (voice-over) "Dear Mom, sending tons of laundry home this week. You'll need plenty of soap. And maybe a taser."
  • [The scene transitions to the middle of the night at Lake Ickygloomy, where McGee, Gretchen, and Squirt are rowing across the lake in a coffin filled with various items.]
  • Gretchen: "This better be worth it, McGee. Squirt and I need our beauty sleep."
  • McGee: "Take it from the Prank King; this will be the greatest prank ever pulled on Buttsquat and his Camp Sunny Smilies. And we're doing it, Lakebottom-style. Now remember, we don't want to set off any-"
  • [The boat abruptly stops, flinging McGee ashore onto a large red button.]
  • McGee: "-Alarms."
  • [McGee's weight pushes the button down, and a siren sounds as spotlights activate and the cabins turn their lights on. McGee realises what happened, while Squirt is covering up his ears due to the alarm. Gretchen then performs a facepalm. Inside Camp Sunny Smiles' large cabin, Buttsquat is sleeping, before the lights turn on and robotic hands remove his eye mask and earmuffs, waking him up. He then realises what's happening and scowls.]
  • Buttsquat: (angrily) "McGee."
  • [His mattress then lowers down into his bed, and in front of the bed a hole opens up, revealing Buttsquat in a large mud turret on a rising column. The windows at the cabin's top spread apart, and Buttsquat and the turret slide onto the balcony.]
  • Buttsquat: "Eat mud, Bottom Dwellers!"
  • [The Bottom Dwellers stare in shock at Buttsquat and his mud turret.]
  • McGee: (scared) "Incoming!"
  • [Buttsquat then starts shooting mudballs from his turret, which hit McGee and Gretchen as Squirt dodges them and backflips out of view. Gretchen is covered entirely in mud as she glares at McGee.]
  • Gretchen: (muffled) "Time to surrender, don't cha think?"
  • [McGee gets off the ground and stands up triumphantly.]
  • McGee: "I will never surr-"
  • [McGee is hit in the face with a mudball and knocked down. Gretchen grabs him and drags him to a bench, shaking the mud of her while doing so. Squirt is still avoiding the mudballs, and tries to use the coffin's oar as a shield, but it is blasted away.]
  • Buttsquat: "You can run, but ya can't hide!"
  • [Squirt starts running past the bench that McGee and Gretchen are hiding behind. Gretchen reaches over to grab him.]
  • Gretchen: "Over here, Squirt."
  • [Gretchen grabs Squirt and pulls him into cover, but accidentally pulls off his stinky underwear in the process. Gretchen groans in disgust.]
  • Gretchen: (disgusted) "Oh, P.U."
  • Squirt: "Hey, those are private!"
  • [Buttsquat is still shown shooting mudballs at everything.]
  • Gretchen: "OK, OK! We surrender already!"
  • [As Gretchen says this, Buttsquat stops shooting and looks at the shore in confusion. Gretchen is waking Squirt's underwear around like a white flag, causing the stink to go everywhere. McGee smells the stink and grimaces, before getting an idea.]
  • McGee: "Time for Plan B."
  • [McGee laughs as he grabs a nearby stick, which he uses to get Squirt's underwear away from Gretchen. He then starts running towards Buttsquat, who notices the sudden movement.]
  • Buttsquat: "McGee!"
  • [Buttsquat starts shooting mudballs again, and McGee dodges them as he continues to head for Buttsquat.]
  • McGee: "Take a good whiff, Buttsquat. That's the sweet stink of victory for Camp Lakebottom."
  • [McGee starts waving the underwear around like a flag, spreading the stench. Buttsquat smells it and grimaces.]
  • Buttsquat: (disgusted) "Ew! We will have our revenge!"
  • [Buttsquat passes out from the stench and falls onto the balcony. The smell covers the screen as the scene transitions to McGee, Gretchen, and Squirt in their coffin rowing back home, with McGee proudly holding up Squirt's underwear like a flag.]
  • McGee: (while laughing) "Aw man, Squirt! Your stinky Gitch totally saved the day."
  • Squirt: "Gitchy was so brave! Yes you were, Gitchy! Yes, you were!"
  • [Gretchen is disturbed by Squit talking to his underwear, and looks at him in shock.]
  • Gretchen: (disturbed) "That is disturbing on so many levels."
  • [The three campers finally make it back to Camp Lakebottom, and sail towards the dock.]
  • McGee: "Here we are: Camp Lakebottom!" (hops off boat and onto dock) "Home sweet creepy, monster-filled home."
  • [Suddenly, a revving chainsaw bursts through the dock in front of McGee, scaring him. Gretchen jumps next to McGee and goes into a defensive karate pose, but the chainsaw disappears and Sawyer pops through the hole the chainsaw made. Upon seeing him, McGee and Gretchen calm down.]
  • Gretchen: "You know Sawyer, normal councillors don't go around waving chainsaws."
  • Sawyer: "Sorry campers, we've been tracking a seriously noxious stink."
  • [Armand appears behind Sawyer and sprays himself with perfume.]
  • Armand: "I'll never get the odor out of my fur."
  • [Rosebud appears wearing a hazmat suit and goes to Gitchy. She pulls out a device and points it towards Gitchy, causing the device to beep loudly as the device's needle moves to the right side of its scale.]
  • Rosebud: "De stink readings are off de scale! We must decontaminate the underhosen immediately!"
  • [Rosebud, McGee, Gretchen start walking off the dock as Sawyer dives into the lake. Squirt realises what's going to happen and starts crying.]
  • Squirt: (distraught, screaming) "Gitchy!"
  • [The camera zooms away from Squirt as he screams. The next morning, everyone is gathered inside the laundry room in the mess hall to see Gitchy get cleaned.]
  • McGee: "Cheer up, Squirt. Once your butt huggers are clean you can start over and make some brand new stank."
  • [Squirt starts crying and reaches out to grab Gitchy, but he can't.]
  • Gretchen: "You've never washed your undies? That's gross, even for boys."
  • Armand: "Ode to a pair of skeevy skivvies." [holds nose closed] "A royal reek. A putrid-"
  • [Gretchen suddenly forces Armand's mouth closed.]
  • Gretchen: "Just wash 'em already."
  • [McGee dips the stick holding Gitchy down, causing the underwear to fall into the washing machine.]
  • Rosebud: "Might as well do a full load while I'm at it." [she walks into view and dumps a pile of laundry into the washing machine, before grabbing a barrel filled with toxic waste and pouring it into the washing machine] "A little toxic cleanser..."
  • [McGee moves away from Rosebud as she pours the cleanser, and Rosebud slams the lid of the washing machine closed. The two then smile at a job well done, but they then move away as the washing machine makes a loud rumbling noise. Squirt, scared about what's happening, grabs McGee and hugs him. The washing machine then starts rumbling louder, and something inside suddenly makes big dents in the washing machine as it glows green.]
  • McGee: "Those are seriously tough stains."
  • [The washing machine starts jumping around until it shoots out soap suds that cover the screen. The soap suds on the screen fall out of view, revealing everyone to be covered in suds, and Armand burps, causing a bubble to come out of his mouth. Gitchy, now covered in toxic cleanser, suddenly floats out of the washing machine.]
  • Gretchen: (curiously) "Uhh, Squirt? Did your underwear used to glow?"
  • Squirt: (excitedly) "Gitchy!"
  • [He drops McGee and runs to Gitchy excitedly as McGee rises out of the suds with a sud afro and mustache.]
  • Squirt: "You're still yucky!"
  • [As Squirt looks at Gitchy, the underwear suddenly grows a pair of eyes, causing Squirt to look at Gitchy in confusion.]
  • Squirt: (confused) "Gitchy?"
  • [The mutated Gitchy screeches as he swoops at Squirt, and the scene cuts to the outside of the mess hall. Everyone inside is screaming as Gitchy attacks them, and McGee bursts through the mess hall door.]
  • McGee: (scared) "The gitch is alive!"
  • [Gitchy flies next to McGee and screeches at him, causing McGee to run. Gitchy starts chasing him as Gretchen runs out of the mess hall.]
  • Gretchen: (scared) "And it's not alone!"
  • [Everyone else runs out of the mess hall as the rest of the laundry, which has also come to life, chases them. McGee jumps into a bush as Gitchy swoops him, and he watches as the living laundry attacks everyone. Gitchy then flies towards Squirt.]
  • Squirt: (excitedly) "Gitchy!"
  • McGee: "Watch out, Squirt!"
  • [Squirt is happily jumping towards Gitchy, but McGee goes infront of him and points a stick towards Gitchy.]
  • McGee: (angrily) "Keep your crusty crotch away from my pal!"
  • [Gitchy screeches in anger and flies away. The audience then sees a montage of what is happening to the others.]
    • [Gretchen is clinging onto the flagpole and is getting her hair pulled by a shirt. The shirt then lets go, and the momentum causes Gretchen's face to hit the flagpole. She then slowly slides down the flagpole and hits the ground, before letting go of the flagpole.]
    • [Armand is getting attacked by some pants and a sock, but they fly away. He sighs in relief, but a jacket hits him in the head, knocking him down.]
    • [Rosebud is being held in the air by a bra, and it drops her head-first onto the ground. Her eyes roll around in a daze before she falls on her face.]
    • [Sawyer is having his arms held behind his back by a jacket while another jacket punches him, causing his eyes to pop out of their sockets. The jackets then fly away, causing Sawyer to fall to the ground in a daze.]
  • [Gitchy and the rest of the laundry flies into the nearby forest as Squirt chases them.]
  • Squirt: (panicked) "No! Gitchy, come home!"
  • [The scene then changes to the forest, and Squirt is seen looking for Gitchy.]
  • Squirt: "Gitchy? Gitchy, where are you?"
  • [A bush is heard moving, and Squirt looks in excitement. McGee then pops out of the bush being chased by three bats, and Gretchen also comes out of the bush. Two bats follow while one stays near Gretchen. She does nothing for a moment before suddenly karate kicking the bat, sending it flying out of view.]
  • McGee: "Squirt!" [he shoos away the bats chasing him] "Your gitch has totally snapped its elastic."
  • Squirt: "Gitchy would never hurt me. Except for sometimes, when it hot out, and I get this itchy rash."
  • [He lifts his leg and looks at where the rash is, disgusting McGee and Gretchen. A roll of toilet paper suddenly hit McGee in the head and knocks him down, and the camera moves to reveal Buttsquat standing on a rock holding a pair of TP guns.]
  • Buttsquat: "Told you I'd get revenge!"
  • McGee: [gets up and angrily stares at Buttsquat] "Buttsquat."
  • Buttsquat: "Wait 'til you see your precious Camp Lakebottom covered in toilet paper." [arms guns and points them at the campers] "Nobody messes with-"
  • [Suddenly, Gitchy flies into Buttsquat, causing him to scream and drop the TP guns at the campers, who watch in shock. Gitchy drags Buttsquat into some bushes, and McGee and Gretchen look at the guns and pick them up as Squirt claps joyfully. The view suddenly changes to McGee's perspective of him looking through the gun's crosshairs in a panic, before the view goes back to normal.]
  • McGee: "How much ammo you got?"
  • Gretchen: "Four rounds, but it's triple-ply."
  • McGee: "We're gonna need every roll."
  • [Buttsquat is suddenly lowered in to view tied up in toilet paper, scaring the campers. Gitchy suddenly flies by them, causing McGee and Gretchen to shoot toilet paper rolls at him. Gitchy dodges every roll and then flies down to swoop the campers.]
  • Squirt: (happily) "Gitchy!"
  • [McGee and Gretchen grab him by his pants and pulls him out of Gitchy's attack. McGee and Gretchen continue shooting toilet paper rolls at Gitchy, but he dodges them while Buttsquat accidentally gets hit a few times.]
  • Gretchen: "I'm almost out!"
  • McGee: "Me too. I guess this is it."
  • [He and Gretchen are suddenly pushed aside by Squirt.]
  • Squirt: "Stop!"
  • [He runs towards Gitchy as McGee and Gretchen get up in a daze.]
  • Squirt: "Gitchy! Don't be afraid. Time to come home."
  • [He spots Gitchy and smiles, and Gitchy does the same. The two then start slowly moving toward each other as heartfelt music plays.]
  • Squirt: "Gitchy!"
  • McGee: "Watch out, Squirt."
  • [The heartfelt music suddenly stops as McGee defensively moves in front of Squirt and aims a TP gun at Gitchy, who becomes angry at McGee.]
  • Squirt: (horrified) "No, don't!"
  • [McGee shoots a roll of toilet paper at Gitchy, who catches and eats it. Gitchy stares angrily at McGee, causing him to swallow nervously. After several moments, Gitchy farts and screechs as he flies away. Squirt tries to run up to Gitchy, but stops and falls to his knees in sorrow.]
  • Squirt: "I'll never wear underpants again." [starts crying]
  • Gretchen: "We've got to get those undies back on that butt."
  • McGee: [gets an idea] "Uh-huh." [puts down his TP gun and walks to Squirt] "Squirt, I think I know how to get you back in your butt huggers."
  • [Upon hearing this, Squirt turns around and puts his hands on his cheeks.]
  • Squirt: (happily) "Really?!" [grabs McGee and pulls him into a tight hug] "You're a true pal, McGee!"
  • [Squirt starts running back towards camp and Gretchen follows.]
  • Buttsquat: (muffled) "Hello?"
  • [The camera pans to reveal Buttsquat is still tied up in toilet paper.]
  • Buttsquat: (muffled) "Uh, a little help here, please?"
  • [The toilet paper holding him up suddenly breaks, causing him to fall to the ground. The branch holding him up suddenly falls on him, and the tree holding the branch up falls on him as well, causing him to groan in pain. The scene changes to Gitchy's perspective, and he is floating through the woods when he spots the campers' cabin and flies toward it. Inside, Squirt is holding up a pair of shorts.]
  • Squirt: (woodenly) "Now-now that Gitchy is gone, you must be my new best f-friend.
  • [He looks around as if waiting for something, and Gitchy barges in through the window. McGee suddenly falls from the ceiling and traps Gitchy in a box.]
  • McGee: (triumphantly) "A-ha! Gotcha Gitchy. Now let's get him to Rosebud."
  • [The camera moves to reveal Armand and Gretchen are behind Squirt, who gasps in horror.]
  • Squirt: "You said I'd get Gitchy back."
  • [Armand hugs Squirt as McGee feels remorse.]
  • McGee: "I'm sorry I used you as bait, Squirt. Honest."
  • [As he says this, Gretchen run she to the cabin's door as Squirt looks at McGee with his eyes full of tears. He then cries into Armand's fur, and McGee starts walking to the door. Armand lets go of Squirt.]
  • Armand: "Look on the bright side, Squirt. Your tragic loss has inspired-" [He twirls in front of Squirt, and he has suddenly changed into a leotard and leggings] "-an interpretive dance."
  • [Armand starts doing an interpretive dance as 80s' pop music plays, though Squirt is unmoved. Outside, Gretchen is staring at something as McGee exits the cabin and closes the door behind him.]
  • McGee: "Now time to clean the mean out of Squirt's gitch."
  • [A ghostly moan is heard, and Gretchen nervously points to the sky, where it's revealed that the living laundry from before is flying towards them.]
  • McGee: [laughs] "Oh, I've seen this movie. This is the part where we're torn to shreds."
  • [He and Gretchen start screaming as the laundry start to swoop them. A hook then lowers next to Gretchen and she grabs it before grabbing McGee, and the hook lifts the two out of the laundry's path, causing the clothes to ram into the cabin door. On the roof, it's revealed that Sawyer used the hook to get the pair to safety.]
  • Gretchen: "Are we glad to see you."
  • Sawyer: "Thanks, campers. Zombies don't hear that enough."
  • McGee: "We're doomed!"
  • [A gun is heard being armed, and the trio look to see Rosebud standing on the cabin's tree, wearing army clothes and wielding a pair of water guns.]
  • Rosebud: "Don't worry, these soaker shotskies are locked und loaded with super-concentrated detergent."
  • [She throws the water guns down to the others, and McGee and Gretchen each catch one. A floating pair of sweatpants float towards them, and McGee quickly shoots it, turning it back to normal.]
  • McGee: "Sweet! Now let's tear these clothes a new back flap."
  • [Everyone strikes a defensive pose as the laundry starts attacking them. McGee shoots a t-shirt and turns it back to normal, before he and Gretchen start attacking the clothing, turning a pair of pants and a sock back to normal. Some leggings attack Sawyer, but some detergent hits it and it turns back to normal. Sawyer turns and sees Rosebud was who saved him, and she salutes him. The fight continues to wage on, when a shirt suddenly grabs McGee by the waist, causing him to drop the water gun. He stares in confusion for a few seconds, before the shirt drags him out of view. Gretchen notices McGee's in trouble, and McGee grabs onto the edge of the roof as the shirt grabs him by the legs.]
  • McGee: "Open fire!"
  • [Gretchen shoots the shirt with such force that it removes McGee's shoes and causes him to let go of the roof. Sawyer and Gretchen peer over the edge, and McGee is seen hanging by a loose wooden board.]
  • Sawyer: "Take my hand!"
  • [McGee grabs his hand, but it accidentally rips, causing McGee start falling in slow motion.]
  • McGee: "Nnnoooooo!"
  • [He then falls face first onto the cabin's doormat.]
  • Gretchen: [sarcastically] "Never saw that one coming."
  • [Sawyer looks at her in annoyance, and McGee looks up to see the rest of the laundry flying towards him. McGee gets up in a fright and moves his sock-covered feet frantically on the doormat, causing static electricity to build. He backs up against the cabin door, and the laundry stop to stare at him.]
  • McGee: (nervously) "Um, maybe we can talk about this over a cup of fabric softener?"
  • [He reaches the doorknob to go inside, but is shocked by the static electricity. He looks at the electricity in his hand, and then the doorknob, before getting an idea. He starts rubbing his feet against the doormat, and the laundry start to attack him.]
  • McGee: "Want a piece of me?"
  • [The laundry get closer to him.]
  • McGee: "Try a little static electricity!" [his hair spikes up due to the static, and he points his finger towards the laundry] "Charge!"
  • [The scene goes in slow motion as the laundry fly towards him, and the camera zooms in on the space between some sweatpants and McGee's finger. A spark of electricity arcs from McGee to the pants, and the camera zooms out to show the entirety of Camp Lakebottom. A large electrical explosion occurs, sending a shockwave away from the camp. Back at the camp, McGee is shocked as the laundry falls from the sky, now normal. Sawyer and Gretchen cheer as Sawyer's hand falls back into place.]
  • Gretchen: "Nice." [gasps in horror and points] "The gitch is gone!"
  • [Armand leans out of the cabin and looks around.]
  • Armand: "And so is Squirt."
  • [The camera moves to reveal that Squirt has the box with Gitchy in it, and is running up the hill towards the outhouse.]
  • Armand: "He must of slipped out during intermission."
  • McGee: "The gitch is going down."
  • [At the hill's summit, Squirt runs towards the outhouse with Gitchy in tow.]
  • Squirt: "Don't worry Gitchy." [puts down box] "We'll run away where no one can find us, little buddy. But first-" [puts his hands over his crotch and starts hopping around] "I-I gotta tinkle."
  • [A gun is heard being armed, and McGee is revealed to be standing between Squirt and the outhouse holding a water gun.]
  • McGee: "I can't let you do that, Squirt."
  • Squirt: (angrily) "You can't tell me when I can and can't tinkle, ex-friend!"
  • McGee: (annoyed) "Not that." [points to the box Gitchy's in] "That!"
  • [The box Gitchy is in shakes, and Gitchy suddenly breaks out of the box. A battle cry is heard, and Gitchy turns to Gretchen jumping towards him twirling a pair of soaps on ropes as action music plays. Gretchen swings at Gitchy, but he flies out of the way. Gretchen lands and jumps to try and hit Gitchy, but he grabs Gretchen's underwear with his teeth and gives her a wedgie as she yelps in pain.]
  • McGee and Squirt: (cringing) "Gitch wedgie."
  • [Gitchy hangs Gretchen onto a tree by her underwear, and he grabs a soap on a rope, before twirling it and flinging it towards McGee, hitting his water gun and making him drop it. The water gun bounces towards some bushes, where a dazed Buttsquat hops out of them and notices the action. He then picks up the water gun.]
  • Buttsquat: (angrily) "No more Mr. Nice Butt."
  • [He arms the water gun. At the outhouse, McGee is backing into the outhouse stall as Gitchy angrily stares at him.]
  • McGee: (nervously) "OK." [laughs] "I know this looks bad, but we really-" [claps for emphasis] "-do want to help you."
  • [Gitchy becomes surprised at McGee's words, before Squirt grabs Gitchy and pulls him in for a hug.]
  • Squirt: (defensively) "It's not Gitchy's fault, McGee. You're trying to wash away years of beautiful, stained-filled memories."
  • [Squirt starts to reminisce of several times where he had fun with Gitchy.]
    • [The first flashback is of Squirt standing in a field wearing nothing but Gitchy, where he is farting with a smile.]
    • [Another flashback shows Squirt playing in a mud puddle while wearing only Gitchy.]
    • [The field flashback is shown again, and nothing changes.]
    • [Another flashback shows a Gitchy-clad Squirt in his house watching a movie while eating popcorn. A scream is heard on the TV, causing Squirt to drop his popcorn in fright and hide in Gitchy as he continues to watch the movie through a hole in Gitchy.]
    • [The field flashback is shown again, and Squirt stops farting after awhile, before farting again as he becomes surprised.]
  • The flashbacks ends, and a gun is heard being armed. Buttsquat suddenly hops into view and aims a water gun at McGee.]
  • Buttsquat: "Revenge."
  • [McGee gasps in shock, and Buttsquat fires a shot of detergent at him. Gitchy bursts out of Squirt's hug, and the scene goes into slow motion as Gitchy moves in front of McGee and gets hit by the detergent. Squirt sees this and runs to Gitchy.]
  • Squirt: (shocked) "Nnnoooooo!"
  • [Gitchy falls to the ground and becomes clean. Squirt slides on his knees to him.]
  • Squirt: (shocked) "Gitchy!"
  • [He bursts into tears, and McGee walks up to him and comforts him.]
  • Squirt: "He gave up a lifetime of stains... For you,-" [pokes McGee in nose] "-McGee."
  • [He continues crying, and McGee reaches down to pick up Gitchy.]
  • McGee: "Maybe not." [picks up Gitchy and runs into the outhouse] "I wouldn't do this for just anyone, Squirt."
  • [He takes a deep breath before jumping into the outhouse with Gitchy in hand. Gretchen gasps, before the branch holding her up breaks, causing her to fall onto the ground. Buttsquat then runs in front of the outhouse while laughing in triumph.]
  • Buttsquat: (tauntingly) ”Who's the Prank King now?" [laughs]
  • Squirt: "My two best pals... Gone."
  • [Gretchen runs up next to him, and Buttsquat is seen doing a victory dance. He notices the two ignoring him, and gets annoyed.]
  • Buttsquat: (annoyed) "Hello?! Triumphant mocking happening here."
  • [The camera slowly zooms in closer to the outhouse, which is making loud bubbling noises. Squirt looks at the outhouse in fright, and a pair of arms reach out of the outhouse's toilet. A filth-covered McGee then pulls himself out of the toilet while gasping for air, and Gitchy is seen on his head, now mutated. Squirt then gasps in delight.]
  • Squirt: (elated) "McGee and Gitchy!"
  • [Gitchy floats off of McGee's head and starts spinning really fast, causing the toxic waste covering him to fly in every direction. Buttsquat is watching in confusion and some of the waste flies onto him, causing him to scream and run away into Lake Ickygloomy. Gitchy then floats to Squirt.]
  • Squirt: "Gitchy!"
  • [He hugs Gitchy, and the scene transitions to a shot of Camp Lakebottom's flagpole. The camera lowers down into the camp, where McGee is standing surrounded by his filth's toxic fumes.]
  • McGee: "You know, the smell kinda grows on you."
  • [Some filth falls off him, and the camera cuts to Gretchen, who has a peg on her nose and is aiming a water gun at McGee.]
  • Gretchen: "OK guys."
  • [The camera zooms out to reveal Sawyer, Armand, and Rosebud also wearing pegs and aiming water gun shows at McGee. Squirt and Gitchy are watching from the mess hall's roof.]
  • Gretchen: "Let's put McGee out of our misery."
  • [Rosebud and Sawyer arm their guns, and everyone fires at McGee, causing the detergent to splash everywhere and cover the screen as the episode ends.]